There are things that I need to do and things I need to finish in order to move forward into the next chapter of my life. I’ve been working hard at this.
One of the most important things that I need to do is proving to be extremely difficult. I need to finish the book that I started several years ago.
Most people would assume (after hearing I’m writing a book) that the idea came to me after losing my husband. I actually felt led to write a book two years prior. I wrote, off and on, up until I got to the point of writing about our accident.
You see, my husband and I went through a lot of trials throughout our marriage; many of which could have ended it. But, we never gave up in each other. That, to me, is a story worth telling; a testimony.
What sort of testimony did I have now?
Here I am, almost 6 years later.
My story isn’t at all what I thought it would be originally. But, I definitely have a story to tell. It’s just a different one.
I have struggled in trying to understand why I haven’t been able to finish, but I think I know now. Finishing the book might just mean the literal finishing of the chapters of the life I once knew. I know in my heart that this could be a very important part of my allowing myself to move forward. As much as I want and need that, the truth is that I’m scared. I want to let go of the the pain, but there is a part of me that holds on out of fear of letting go of him.
I actually wrote on the subject of letting go awhile back. It couldn’t be more relevant than it is now. You can read that post here: Letting Go
I’m going to do this.
I need to do this.
Wish me luck, my blog family.